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Coming home was the beginning of an entirely different adventure. No wires, no tubes, no isolettes...just little free babies as they ought to be. Naturally, we were excited and scared. There were no more monitors to tell us if their heart rate or breathing was normal. Allan already used up his personal time at work, so after the girls came home I was alone. It wasn't so bad at first. As newborns they just slept all day, so I was able to get rest as I was still recovering from my surgery. The older they got the more awake and alert they became. Taking care of them became a lot more demanding once they were aware of the world and needed more stimulation. They both want attention from mom...at the same time...all day. Their first intentional, responsive smiles were September 12 (Sayla) and September 15 (Brynna). We were so thrilled to see our babies acknowledge us with a smile!

Their smiles were only the beginning. Each day was something different as I grew to know them and watch them change. Their development is supposed to be marked by their due date (August 15) instead of their birth date (July 14). However, both their physical and social development have not seemed to be behind. From smiling, to laughing, to that little gargle in the back of their throat when they try to talk, they are learning how to socialize. My favorite is when they stare at me with their beautiful blue eyes and make the sweetest little sounds like they're trying to sing to me. They are learning their own ways of communicating, like how Brynna just yells at her toys when she starts to get hungry or tired. Sayla says "oo...oo...oo" when she wants my attention. So far they have very different personalities. Sayla is more laid back and home and very social with others. Brynna is feisty at home and in public she just stares at people.

Physical development has also been exciting as we watched them plump up, grasp toys (and mommy's hair), roll over, kick excitedly, sit up, blow bubbles with their spit, and learn how to eat solid foods. It seems like they are constantly teething, but no teeth yet. Their hair fell out around 4 months, but have grown it back since. They interact more with the water and tub toys at bathtime, kicking and sticking their tongues out when you drip water above their faces. They are just too much fun! Overall, our babies are very healthy! Other than an ear infection and a couple of colds in the first few months, Sayla and Brynna seem to be doing well. They are happy, social babies that are having so much fun with the world around them. Praise God for it all!

My emotional well-being? Life has been a number of different adjectives. Wonderful, scary, exhausting, frustrating, fun, exciting, etc. Our babies are so worth every second of it. All the crying, the exhausting nights, the mourning I experienced when I decided to quit nursing...all those terrible moments go away when I think of how much I love my little girls. Before this I was scared to death to care for one infant, let alone two. I was afraid that I wouldn't know what they needed. Which cry means what? Their health depends on how well I take care of them. It's a lot of responsibility and so much pressure! But it is miraculous what happens between a mother and a child...like there is an unexplained type of communication. Over the months I learned what hungry means, what tired means, what dirty diaper, cold, and sick all mean. Best of all, I know when they say "I love you." In those sweet little moments when a tiny little hand reaches for my face, and my baby gives me a grin so big that her entire body wiggles, I think to myself how thankful I am that God has given them life...healthy lives. After the horrible eight months of being cramped and kicked in the womb, the weeks in the NICU being poked and prodded, I like to think Sayla and Brynna are thankful too.

Now that they are six months old, knowing their needs is not the hard part. Taking care of them is! I am refraining from complaining too much because they haven't started crawling or walking yet. I'm saving my venting for the dreaded moments that my curious twins discover how to use their feet to get places. In the other hand, I will have much happier babies. Right now they can sit up with help and are getting better every day. I love watching them learn. Every day they try something new, like sticking their toes in their mouths for the first time, blowing bubbles, and trying out that really high pitched yell that mommy loves so much. Now that they are growing more, they are looking more like identical twins. Sometimes I glance at one and think it's the other. That's a good thing. It means Brynna is catching up.

Well, back to my motherly duties. Stay tuned. I just might keep up with this blog!